"Epeen," or your Internet Penis, is a measure of how awesome you are on the internet. Like normal penises, people always think theres is bigger. Unlike normal penises, girls can have Epeens. Unfortunately, it is a well known fact that there are no girls on the internet, so this is never an issue.
In Astro Empires, you gain Epeen by blowing up spaceships, trolling people, flaming people, getting people to cry, and blowing up capital ships. Blowing up a Deathstar makes your Epeen grow a second head. While disgusting, this is very useful. I'm not sure why its useful, but think of the possibilities. Or don't, you might strain something.
Epeen length can be used to determine internet hierarchies. However, because no one ever tells the truth about their Epeen size, this can be very difficult.