Shakazu is a well-known cyborg-- part human, part spam-bot-- and member in good standing with the Minbari Federation. While many discount his postings as random nonsense, few realize the true agenda behind his enigmatic postings, which is exactly what Shakazu intended.
Understanding Shakazu[]
In order to pierce the man and mystery of Shakazu, one needs to either understand his background or use a sharp object. In the interests of the former, Minbari officials launched an official inquiry into his official record. It was all very official. His personal history became a secret point of interest amongst guild leadership, and this is the first time that the information they excavated has been available to the general public.
Shakazu is the result of a top secret Minbari engineering program called Project Ultramegasuper. Lured into the program with the promise of sweet deals on surgery, Shakazu became a guinea pig for maniacal Minbari scientists who sought to turn him into an elite cyborg killing machine. Unfortunately, during one of the most critical stages of the process, a simple clerical error led surgeons to replace the left hemisphere of Shakazu's brain with a small terrier. He was immediately deemed unsuitable for continuing experimentation due to the incessant barking rebounding around in his cranium, and he was expelled from the program.
Thus began Shakazu's strange legacy. The constant barking in his head quickly drove him mad, and the half of the brain most concerned with order and reason had been removed. Shakazu quickly rose to fame among the Minbari for his constant non-sequitur spamming. On the surface, it seemed this was simply a matter of mad ramblings, but there is more to the story.
Understanding Joshua[]
Top Secret[]
Shakazu's seemingly harmless random posting is not, in fact, what it seems. Upon witnessing the change in Shakazu, the ruthlessly Machiavellian despot of the Minbari Federation, Saberj (may glory follow his name!), tapped Shakazu as a secret counterintelligence operative. Saberj (may glory follow his name!) had to do something about his own constant paranoid fear of enemy spies, so he concocted a plan. To ensure that any spy in the Minbari Federation would have to wade through leagues of spam to find any useful information, Saberj (may glory follow his name!) created a top secret counterintelligence bureau known as the Ministry of Spam with Shakazu as the Director. It is Shakazu's solemn duty to ensure that any enemy spies get bewildered at having to wade through so many nonsensical posts-- including popular songs with lyrics re-written to talk about other guild-members, image spam, and general out-of-left-field commentary-- and simply quit the guild, believing that infiltrating the Minbari ranks is a fruitless endeavor. Shakazu takes his role very seriously, and has performed his duty so well that Saberj (may glory follow his name!) sent him a medal of commendation for his work. It is rumored that another Minbari member, XenoVirus, has been added to Shakazu's Ministry of Spam in recent years.